What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Dick very happy bro
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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