i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
