I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
