I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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