yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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