I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
