So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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