officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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