Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
