Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
