Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
