I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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