I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize