I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
