Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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