Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
