u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize