Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
