I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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