She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
