If i come over, it means nothing
Is it because I queefed?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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