Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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