I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
