I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
