pop tarts are not kleenex
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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