I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
