why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
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