Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
