My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
