whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
