"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
