Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
