bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize