How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
