Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
