In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
