i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
