Too much gin, very little bucket
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
