I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
