I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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