Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I want to have your abortion
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
