tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's never too late to be topless.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize