Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
