Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just pee around me
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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