Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Randomize
