im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
