p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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