uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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