Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
