you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
