I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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