I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
