Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
