It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
