pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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