lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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