So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
